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Book Review: A complaint is a gift ::
David McDonald discovers that people who complain may well be doing us a favour…
Source: Perspective Vo5 No2 © Perspective 1999
Author: Janelle Barlow & Claus Moller
Published: Berrett-Eoehler, 1996
Reviewer: Dave McDonald
Few things are more discouraging to a pastor than complaints. We tend to feel under attack, and immediately break into defence mode. “How dare they criticise my preaching!” “What would they know about the pressures of trying to organise and run a church?!” “They complain about us not being friendly, but they don’t make an effort!” “It’s not my fault!!!” Maybe we could do with a fresh perspective.
A Complaint Is A Gift is a book that will challenge you to rethink complaints. What is a complaint? Fundamentally, it is a statement about expectations that haven’t been met. But more importantly, it is an opportunity for the organisation, business, or church in our case, to make some helpful changes. This book calls upon us to redefine complaints as gifts. This will require us to separate the message from the medium. We must distance the content of the complaint from the emotion of being blamed. In other words, don’t take things so personally!
This will mean gaining empathy for the disappointed people, and rethinking how complaints can help us to move forward as a church. The very fact that a person made the effort to complain indicates some level of commitment to us. Many will only grumble to others or simply walk away. We would do well to put ourselves in their shoes. Imagine that what they are complaining about had happened to you. How would you react? What would need to happen for you to be satisfied?
This book warns against a strategy of reducing the number of complaints. Complaints can be avoided by closing down lines of communication. But all this does is bury problems and maintain the inadequate status qua. Instead, we need to create opportunities for feedback. We can do surveys from time to time, but they will never adequately reflect the levels of dissatisfaction. People who are genuinely dissatisfied are unlikely to wait for the next survey to air their complaints.
Churches, like businesses, depend heavily on word-of-mouth advertising. The way we handle complaints will work for or against us. People are much more likely to believe a friendly recommendation than formal advertising. If we handle complaints well it can be a powerful source of positive word-of-mouth. On the other hand, the more dissatisfied people become, the more likely they are to spread bad news. How many times have we heard “I left that church because… “? Maybe it could have been avoided if someone had simply listened!
The book suggests some basic techniques for handling complaints, using the following Gift Formula:
- Say “thankyou.”
- Explain why you appreciate the complaint.
- Apologise for the mistake.
- Promise to do something about the problem immediately.
- Ask for necessary information.
- Correct the mistake – promptly.
- Check customer satisfaction.
- Prevent future mistakes.
While written with the business sector in mind, this book raises issues of major importance for churches and their leaders. While some may read it and be motivated by the desire to increase profits, we can read it with peoples’ eternal futures in mind. Some of the book’s wisdom is not new:
“He who listens to a life giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.” Proverbs 15:31
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“A mocker resents correction; he will not consult the wise.” Proverbs 15:1-2
“Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trust in the LORD.” Proverbs 26:20
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
I recommend giving it a read. You probably wont find it in a bookshop but it can easily be ordered. Then again, at $34.95 maybe you’d be better off trying to find it in a library, like I did!
David McDonald is the pastor of Crossroads Christian Church in Canberra.